Remember firstly that God certainly wants to forgive you. On the one hand you want to be forgiven, yet on the other hand, you feel that you are so bad that you are beyond forgiveness. No one is beyond forgiveness, including you!

God's son, Jesus Christ, died for everyone in the whole world. He won forgiveness for all. No one is excluded. There are no strings attached.

So you feel the need to be forgiven. You want change in your life, but all you can see is your unworthiness. God's good news, the Gospel, assures us that those who come to him with repentant hearts have his forgiveness.

Because your sin separates you from God, you need a way to bridge the gap. There is only one way. Jesus Christ is the only way. Jesus died on the cross and came alive again, paying the penalty for your sin. In this way he bridged the gap for you. Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name. (Acts 10:43)

Believe this and confess your sin to God. Then trust God's promise, not your feelings.
The Bible tells us, "Christ has suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God". (1 Peter 3:18)

And again, "if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

So accept God's gift of faith and give thanks for his promised love and forgiveness.

See also What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

How can I cope with my loneliness, since my loved one died?

To be separated from loved ones is never easy. Don't hide your loneliness or apologise for the grief you are still experiencing. Share it with someone you trust - a family member, or an understanding friend. This can be very encouraging.

Jesus Christ is the best and most understanding friend of all. A well-known hymn proclaims:

"What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear;
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer."

Tell Jesus how you feel. He knows what it's like to lose a loved one and he experienced loneliness too. Open your heart to him. Ask him to help you cope with your loneliness. Ask him to help you find a renewed purpose in life.

You might find these suggestions helpful:

Every morning, thank God for all the good things you have enjoyed in life. Ask him to lead you through the day. Then imagine him actually walking by your side throughout the whole day.
Spend some regular time reading your Bible. There God offers comfort and strength. Read verses like Numbers 6:24; Isaiah 41:10; John 10:10; Acts 10:43; Romans 8:28; Romans 8:38,39; and some of the Psalms.
Look for ways to help others. Find someone who needs help that you can give. This could be a neighbour, or someone through a local Christian church or charity. As you do this you will find help and fulfilment for yourself too.
Always remember that God loves you and wants you to enjoy love, forgiveness and an abundant life.

I'm afraid of dying. What can I do?

Fear comes in all shapes and sizes and it does not simply go away when we are told not to be afraid.

When children cry out in fear during the night, a good parent does not tell them "Stop being silly! There is no need to be afraid." Instead, with care and love a parent will sit with the child. Somehow their nearness, their embrace, their strength is communicated to the child.

You are afraid of dying. You are not alone. Often the fact of dying does not bother us as much as the way we have watched others die. We doubt our strength to face our own death, and we are concerned about loved ones left behind. It's healthy for people to talk about these things with family and friends. Some of our fears can be answered in this way as we are affirmed, supported and loved while we are alive. But close friendships in life are always mirrored in the intensity of loss people feel when loved ones die.

When talking to friends before he died, Jesus said, "Do not be troubled, or upset. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms…I am going to prepare a place for you." (John 14:1-3). Jesus understood that it is normal to be troubled and upset over death. Yet, he encouraged his friends to embrace God with faith and trust - like a child clinging to a parent in the dark of night.

He encourages you in the same way today. You can be strong, knowing Jesus walked this way before you. You can be comforted in knowing God has made a special place in his heart that will accommodate only you. So, when your time to die comes, God will welcome you home as you put your trust in him.

I don't try anymore because I'm afraid to fail, and I don't like to fail all the time.

This cry may strike a personal note. Failure and a feeling of uselessness are as close to us as a turn in the economy, redundancy at work or a break-up in marriage.

Today’s society glorifies winners. Our sports stars receive media acclaim. What about the film stars on the night the "Oscars" are awarded? Or the "Grammies" for TV personalities? Or business tycoons for their empires?

But how can everyone be a winner? There is a limited number in a football team. There are only so many prizes to be won. Only so many jobs available. That's the crunch. Some have to miss out, lose face. While there's some sympathy for the losers, not everyone can handle it.

Let's face it, the fear of failure haunts many in the present economic and moral climate - those who feel unsuccessful; those in work who feel they are unable to cope with the increasing job demands to remain competitive; those who are in a job they can't stomach, but can't find another.

But there's more to life than what you do, the fame you achieve or the money you make. Of far greater importance is who you are and what you stand for.

Many people would have regarded Jesus as a failure. When he died, he appeared to have owned only the clothes he wore. He had spent three years training 12 friends, but when the crunch came, one sold him out for a handful of money; another disowned him, and the others disappeared, leaving him to die a criminal's death. Just one was with him at the cross. As for the crowds who cheered him into Jerusalem - just a few days later they were shouting for his blood. So much for society's fickle opinion.

Jesus knows what it is to be discarded, to be thought a failure. Yes, the cross at Calvary tells you that Jesus understands you, that God has accepted you. It was there, in his death, that Jesus tasted your failure and turned it round. He gives you courage to persevere. For the cross tells you how much he loves you and assures you that some day all will be well.

The Bible, which portrays the terrible death that Jesus suffered in our place for us, also declares that he didn't stay dead. On the third day he rose victorious from the grave. This resurrection power is at work in all who believe in him. (Ephesians 3:19,20).

Saint Paul, who suffered a lot, was able to write to the Christians at Philippi, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 3:14). Read these and other promises in the Bible. Thank God for them and clasp them with both hands. Then may you become aware of a hand clasping yours.

That hand has a nail wound, a reminder of the One who turned seeming defeat into the greatest victory that ever hit this planet. Can you trust him with your future? Talk it over with him, in prayer. Why not join with some of his friends in a Bible study group and get to know Him better - perhaps worship with them? The Lutheran church, as part of Christ's people, is waiting to welcome you. The church is part of God's design to bring hope to your life.

In the sunshine and in the shadows, through the calm and stormy days, when life is good and when it's hard, when things go well and when they fall apart, may you know deep within your spirit that God is still smiling, and all will be well.

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